211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible

Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly  Irresistible Subscribe on  iTunes    or  Stitcher Radio "Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it." Show Notes: Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader) Try to listen to others more than anyone else Get to KNOW the person 3 Skills Decoding - Leaders who are able to read others accurately Encoding - Your ability to send accurate signals to others... What can I do to excite others? Self-Regulation The art/science of inspiring others We decide if someone is a winner or a loser... Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space Charisma -- How to be instantly irresistible? The most charismatic people High Warmth High Competence Must have both Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader? You do not need to be extroverted... Or a booming leader Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you're an introvert? Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths Don't stand in the center of the room Stand at a high bar table Low light areas Conversation hacks: Sparks - The brain looks for hits, not misses "Anything good happen lately? "Working on anything exciting?" Ask soft yes/no questions... "A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else" "Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it." "Relatability comes down to ties." -- Saying "Oh, me too" creates a tie with that person. "You want this, I want this..." type speeches The 7 micro-expressions "The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence."   Social Media: Follow Noah on Twitter:  @vvanedwards Read: Captivate Connect with me on LinkedIn Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12 More Learning: Episode 078:   Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon Episode 071:   Nate Boyer - Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL Episode 179:   How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions Episode 107:   Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why The Learning Leader Show is supported by  Rhone .  Use the code " Hawk " for 15% off .  Rhone... premium activewear engineered with principle, performance and progress for the modern man.  Rhone builds clothing around 3 main tenants: Cutting-edge Performance, Premium Comfort, and Simplistic Style.