Bad Marriage Advice and Better Ways to Connect with Monica Tanner

On Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia welcomes relationship coach, author, and podcast host Monica Tanner to explore conflict, emotional safety, and intimacy when alcohol is no longer the escape hatch. Together, they explore how to ask for support, navigate difficult conversations, and reconnect through change. Does “never go to bed angry” actually help? When does communication become criticism? What happens when drinking or scrolling becomes a way to disappear during conflict? Sonia and Monica explore resentment, sober relationships, and talking about sex without turning the conversation into a performance. Monica introduces relational life therapy concepts, including protective childhood patterns, the emotional “whoosh,” and choosing a response with greater awareness. She shares examples of clear requests, healthy boundaries, side-by-side intimacy conversations, and small routines that create space for connection. Monica also shares how her parents’ divorce shaped her interest in relationships, why late-night arguments brought up fears of abandonment, and how a simple request for reassurance changed those moments in her marriage. Her son’s approaching wedding became the inspiration for her book. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Monica’s Links 🌐 Monica Tanner’s Website 🎙️ Secrets of Happily Ever After Podcast 📖 Bad Marriage Advice SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Timestamped Highlights 01:00 — Meet relationship coach Monica Tanner. 02:00 — The divorce that reshaped her idea of marriage. 04:00 — Rethinking “never go to bed angry.” 06:00 — Asking for reassurance before taking a break. 08:00 — Relationship maintenance before a crisis. 11:00 — Why conflict can block familiar communication skills. 14:00 — Recognizing protective patterns and boundaries. 16:00 — Teaching a partner how to love you well. 18:00 — Small requests before resentment builds. 20:00 — Asking for listening instead of solutions. 23:00 — Making requests without criticism. 25:00 — Withdrawal, fawning, and old survival strategies. 26:00 — Sonia on alcohol, conflict, and getting sober. 28:00 — Withdrawing in plain sight. 30:00 — Pausing during the emotional “whoosh.” 34:00 — Making space for conversations about sex. 38:00 — Exploring a broader definition of intimacy. 41:00 — When deeper relationship problems need help first. 45:00 — Monica’s routines for regular connection. 46:00 — Couples work, intensives, and closing reflections.