270. “We’re sacrificing our retirement to pay for our kids’ college”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Mia and Jake, a couple in their late 30s and early 40s in a blended family with three children. Mia wrote in because she’s afraid paying for their children’s college will cause resentment in their relationship. With no idea how much they are spending, why, or what they truly want their money to do for them, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes. Will they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and feel confident making money decisions together? In this episode we uncover: • How financial discussions lead to frustration and anxiety • The surprising cost of their previous “dream” home • Why they sold their house and downsized • The connection between “feeling” and making financial decisions • How money scarcity is fueling guilt and fear • Why Jake doesn’t understand how to make his money work for him • A deep dive into Mia's family money rules • Why Jake was afraid to talk about money • How their pension influences their financial outlook • The hidden costs of everyday living • Why just “cutting costs” isn’t a long-term solution • The powerful connection between clarity and confidence Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:54) “I feel resentment from my husband because our money supports my kids” (00:08:00) Mia and Jake’s money conversations (00:10:28) Mia and Jake bought a huge house they couldn’t afford (00:13:38) Moving on from the house-broke mistake (00:23:23) Mia’s old budget felt like “paper pushing” (00:38:43) Why does Mia feel scared about money? (00:41:39) Adjusting their fixed costs (00:48:43) Why cutting costs is easy for Mia and Jake (00:50:33) Their pension: a financial safety net (01:03:03) Trading anxiety for guilt (01:06:35) Jake’s money messages (01:07:54) What is your rich life vision? (01:13:40) Mia and Jake’s money system (01:25:10) Building Jake’s confidence with money (01:32:20) How Mia and Jake feel about their money now (01:35:22) Mia and Jake’s next steps This episode is brought to you by: Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 20% off Gelt | Gelt is taking on new clients now. Find out if you qualify at https://joingelt.com/ramit Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K. Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply