How Alan Cumming Escaped His Father and Became Himself

The actor Alan Cumming is not the man his father wanted him to be. Growing up, Cumming says, his father had specific ideas about how he should look and what he should do with his life, ideas he enforced with abusive violence. However, Cumming tried to stay true to himself: As a teenager, he hid clothes to change into after leaving the house, and he found joy in playing the piano and later at drama school. As an adult, Cumming tried to forget the past. But after getting married, settling into a home and beginning to consider fatherhood for himself, he started to reckon with his childhood, and realized he needed to start over. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Cumming shares about what happened when he finally broke free of his father. He talks about how his past caught up to his love life, why publicly identifying as bisexual is important to him, and what he hopes to pass down to a new generation of queer artists. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay , and how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.