425. Why we want people who don't want us back

2026-06-04 · 32 min · 21 entities

episode page audio

Asserted relationships

→ discusses Society & Culture concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Society & Culture
→ discusses Education concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Education
→ hosted by iHeartPodcasts company

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed author/publisher: iHeartPodcasts
→ discusses Science concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Science
→ discusses Health & Fitness concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Health & Fitness
→ discusses Self-Improvement concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Self-Improvement
→ discusses Mental Health person

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Mental Health
→ discusses Social Sciences concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Social Sciences
→ discusses Relationships concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Relationships
→ discusses Fitness concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Fitness
→ discusses How To concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: How To

Entities found in this episode

concepts 17

mentioned Society & Culture concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Society & Culture
mentioned Education concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Education
mentioned Science concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Science
mentioned Health & Fitness concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Health & Fitness
mentioned Self-Improvement concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Self-Improvement
mentioned Social Sciences concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Social Sciences
mentioned Relationships concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Relationships
mentioned Fitness concept

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Fitness
discusses Society & Culture concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Society & Culture
discusses Education concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Education
discusses Science concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Science
discusses Health & Fitness concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Health & Fitness
discusses Self-Improvement concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Self-Improvement
discusses Social Sciences concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Social Sciences
discusses Relationships concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Relationships
discusses Fitness concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Fitness
discusses How To concept

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: How To

companys 2

mentioned iHeartPodcasts company

0.70

evidence rules-v5
Feed author/publisher: iHeartPodcasts
hosted by iHeartPodcasts company

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed author/publisher: iHeartPodcasts

persons 2

mentioned Mental Health person

0.50

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Mental Health
discusses Mental Health person

0.40

evidence rules-v5
Feed category: Mental Health

Episode description as stored

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including: The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure Practical strategies to finally move on and let go Creating your own closure when none is given Plus so so much more If you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @ jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @ thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @ thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.